Household Chore Dodger Pillows

"Oh look... You don't know how to wash dishes. I guess you don't ever have to wash them again."

'Do the dishes? Pleease, today's Labor Day.'

"You created a robot to do your homework for you? Apparently, laziness is the mother of invention."

'We built this city on Rock 'n' Roll, yeah baby. Is not an accurate assessment of our town's history.'

"Mom, no raking for me this fall! Got any more leaf bags?"

"Your top 10 list of reasons why you didn't do your homework is creative, but not acceptable."

'When the doctor told you to warm up before exercising, I don't think he meant with hot chocolate and hot cross buns.'

'He's kind of a rescue dog. He points to where the hardest work is, so that I can run into the opposite direction!'

Homework flavored dog food

"All right, what's it going to take to make this homework go away?"

"My dog ate my homework. Then the backup files were hacked by Russians."

"It's hard being a TV viewer trapped in the body of a student."

"We interrupt this program to bring you a special message from your teachers..."

A genie helps a man fold laundry.

"Why run a marathon when you can sleep through it?"

"I cloned myself to take care of my Thanksgiving duties while I watch football in peace."

Gentlemen, I'm off to join the circus

'The homework ate my dog.'

'It's just a recliner with built-in heart rate monitor. But look at how many big inflatable balls are sold as exercise equipment.'

"Personally, this child would love to be 'left behind.'"

"Forget about eating homework, I need you to carry my backpack!"

'Three days, four different avoidance routines.'

'I follow my doctor's orders religiously. He said for me to spend two hours a day on the tennis court.'

"Instead of taking notes, can I just purchase a transcript of today's lesson?"

'How can he remember 37 passwords but always forget to pick his clothes up off the floor?'

"Miss Wythenshawe? Can I leave early, my brain is full."

'Your excuses for not doing your homework are excellent. How about a career as political apologist?'

"By the time I count to 10, you'd better be doing your math homework!"

'Danae...you seem to spend twice the time and energy in avoiding your schoolwork than it would take to actually do the work...How far do you expect that'll get you in life?'

"I don't get it. I hired him to workout for me every day, and I still haven't lost any weight."

'Eat my homework! Come on, Spot, eat my homework! If I turn it in, I won't pass!'

'I won't be at school anymore, my head is full.'

Washing Instructions: Have Your Mom Do It.

Pinocchio's autopsy - "Right about here he started cutting gym class."

"No, Senator, I'm afraid stretching the truth doesn't count as yoga."