Exercise Dodger Pillows

'I follow my doctor's orders religiously. He said for me to spend two hours a day on the tennis court.'

"No, Senator, I'm afraid stretching the truth doesn't count as yoga."

'I want you to touch your toes twenty times a day.' - 'No way, my cap will fall off.'

'How about a bike ride?' 'Nah, the seat hurts my butt, and I'd have to put air in the tires, and I'd have to put shorts on so my pant leg doesn't get caught and...' 'And you'd have to get up.' 'And I'd have to get up.'

'When the doctor told you to warm up before exercising, I don't think he meant with hot chocolate and hot cross buns.'

"Why run a marathon when you can sleep through it?"

"I'm going for a swim. Wanna come?"

'Oh and can my Mum gtake me - around in her 4x4 - Sir?'

"You created a robot to do your homework for you? Apparently, laziness is the mother of invention."

Self-Help Books Families for Lockdown

Examinations.

"Mom, no raking for me this fall! Got any more leaf bags?"

'We built this city on Rock 'n' Roll, yeah baby. Is not an accurate assessment of our town's history.'

"Your top 10 list of reasons why you didn't do your homework is creative, but not acceptable."

'He's kind of a rescue dog. He points to where the hardest work is, so that I can run into the opposite direction!'

'Before you give us your surprise test, could we have a surprise study period?'

Homework flavored dog food

"It's hard being a TV viewer trapped in the body of a student."

"All right, what's it going to take to make this homework go away?"

"My dog ate my homework. Then the backup files were hacked by Russians."

"What kind of 'best friend' expects you to pick up their sh*t?"

Portrait sweating above a fireplace

"We interrupt this program to bring you a special message from your teachers..."

Please Wait Here To Be Scolded

"How was first grade? I don't know yet. I spent all day in the Principal's office."

"Do I get to lawyer up before I see the Principal?"

Gentlemen, I'm off to join the circus

'Three days, four different avoidance routines.'

'It's just a recliner with built-in heart rate monitor. But look at how many big inflatable balls are sold as exercise equipment.'

'9K a year!? It's an outrage! At my level of attendance that's 3K per lecture!'

"Forget about eating homework, I need you to carry my backpack!"

'The homework ate my dog.'

Assignments Due. The Russians hacked my homework.

"Personally, this child would love to be 'left behind.'"

"Instead of taking notes, can I just purchase a transcript of today's lesson?"