Diy Dodger Gifts

Man ignores DIY book and instead reads book entitled: 'Get someone else to do it'.

"Mom, no raking for me this fall! Got any more leaf bags?"

'He's kind of a rescue dog. He points to where the hardest work is, so that I can run into the opposite direction!'

Private Viewing

Tell me the truth. Do you think my signature is logo-esque?

'For sheer elegance you can't beat the black hole entropy formula.'

Man trying to catch a saxophonist with butterfly wings.

"Isn't this so much better without our devices?"

'Three days, four different avoidance routines.'

'It's just a recliner with built-in heart rate monitor. But look at how many big inflatable balls are sold as exercise equipment.'

"Baldo, I appreciate your hard work...and your eagerness to complete your chores quickly. But next time...don't blow the leaves while I'm painting."

'You have to learn to face reality.', 'Can't I just sneak up on it?'

Sleeping through new year celebrations

'No slapping, Wilson! We don't start full-contact drills until tomorrow!'

"I don't get it. I hired him to workout for me every day, and I still haven't lost any weight."

Pinocchio's autopsy - "Right about here he started cutting gym class."

"We also offer a plan where you just post pictures and skip the exercise."

How caffeine interacts with human brain cells.

"Can't you rake the leaves? I'm raking in cash."

"If they find out I'm a flight attendant pretend a heart attack so we can leave early."

'Is there any way I can keep on all this weight and still enter the Pro Football Hall of Fame?'

"Uh, it's the funniest thing honey... None of my power tools seem to work! I guess those projects will have to wait..."

"You say you have a medical malpractice case?"

'Oh, Fred does exercise. He takes frequent walks to the refrigerator.'

Cowboy posting notices saying WANTED...FOR FLYPOSTING

'I don't need to go to a gym. One of my classroom management strategies is to circulate frequently around the room. I figure I walk three miles a day.'

"Do you have a moment to be late for something you just made up?"

'Hey, we have one of those. You hang your laundry on it.'

'I started out as a sculptor, but I kept hitting my thumb.'

Walk right in. Sit right down.

Slimming Club: New Members Entry.

"I couldn't work out how to assemble my wardrobe - then suddenly, it all fitted together..."

'The poor lamb's having a rest, Mum, exhausted after putting a new toilet roll on the holder...'