Diy Project Dodger Gifts

"Uh, it's the funniest thing honey... None of my power tools seem to work! I guess those projects will have to wait..."

"You created a robot to do your homework for you? Apparently, laziness is the mother of invention."

We're halfway through teaching her to roll over.

"Mom, no raking for me this fall! Got any more leaf bags?"

'We built this city on Rock 'n' Roll, yeah baby. Is not an accurate assessment of our town's history.'

"Your top 10 list of reasons why you didn't do your homework is creative, but not acceptable."

'He's kind of a rescue dog. He points to where the hardest work is, so that I can run into the opposite direction!'

Private Viewing

"This is just a model, but you get the idea."

Homework flavored dog food

"It's hard being a TV viewer trapped in the body of a student."

"All right, what's it going to take to make this homework go away?"

"My dog ate my homework. Then the backup files were hacked by Russians."

"We interrupt this program to bring you a special message from your teachers..."

'For sheer elegance you can't beat the black hole entropy formula.'

Tell me the truth. Do you think my signature is logo-esque?

'Hmmmm...lower.'

Man trying to catch a saxophonist with butterfly wings.

"The answer is NO!"

"Baldo, I appreciate your hard work...and your eagerness to complete your chores quickly. But next time...don't blow the leaves while I'm painting."

"Isn't this so much better without our devices?"

'The homework ate my dog.'

"Personally, this child would love to be 'left behind.'"

'It's just a recliner with built-in heart rate monitor. But look at how many big inflatable balls are sold as exercise equipment.'

"Forget about eating homework, I need you to carry my backpack!"

Election Cancelling Headphones

"Instead of taking notes, can I just purchase a transcript of today's lesson?"

"Miss Wythenshawe? Can I leave early, my brain is full."

'Your excuses for not doing your homework are excellent. How about a career as political apologist?'

"I don't get it. I hired him to workout for me every day, and I still haven't lost any weight."

'Danae...you seem to spend twice the time and energy in avoiding your schoolwork than it would take to actually do the work...How far do you expect that'll get you in life?'

"By the time I count to 10, you'd better be doing your math homework!"

"Oh look! Another crappy grant which requires my goddamned work interact with the f**king community!"

'Eat my homework! Come on, Spot, eat my homework! If I turn it in, I won't pass!'