Gluten-free Dining Gifts

"These aren't just your ordinary town square pigeons, that's low gi gluten-free bread. . ."

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

Kitchen Kapers

"I want to leave myself some caloric margin of error for dessert."

How to cope in Los Angeles vs. New York

Child Sells Gluten Free Mudpies

'This is gluten free, isn't it?'

'Are you the guy who put gluten in the bread?'

Modern Witch Shoppe

The eye of newt - Is it gluten-free?

'Would you like that organic, locally grown, carbon neutral, fair trade, trans fat-free, sugar-free, gluten-free and peanut-free?'

"Hmm...any dietary restrictions?"

"One slice—hold the bread."

"Enlightenment can only come when you realize there is more to life than gluten free hot sauce."

"Strictly organic ingredients section or Russian roulette with genetically modified foods section?"

"The chef will accommodate gluten-free requests, but only with a note from your doctor."

'Gretel, she's lying. It's not gluten free!'

"I'd like a fat-free, gluten-free, MSG-free, mini, super-skinny, artisan latte please..."

"We couldn't find a raw-vegan, gluten-free, sugar-free, non-G.M.O. cake for your birthday, so we got you nothing."

"And for all you people with food allergies, this next song's lyrics contain no gluten or peanuts."

Gluten-free Santa

"I'll get the onion soup... it's the only thing on the menu that I don't know why it's bad for me!"

"And the best part of grinding their bones to make your bread - totally gluten free!"

Buffet - now glutton free.

"If you eat gluten, we have a ton of it in the back."

A psychic predicts the discovery of gluten.

'It's gluten-free or free range or something. Enjoy.'

"I was the first one to work completely gluten free."

'How do we know he's gluten-free?'

"No, we don't sell gluten-free gluten."

"It might taste a little different. It's gluten-free slop."

Gluten-Free Church

"So, it's Gluten free, lactose free and meat free. How does it taste?"

"How could they possibly know it's gluten-free, low gi. . . ?"

The Gluten is Free. RUN!