Globe Gourmet T-Shirts

Keith Floyd.

Geographical Society Christmas Dinner.

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

'I want to make a positive environmental statement - What do you suggest I order?'

"And I'm teaming that burned sausage up with a warm, flat local lager."

'The heart and eyes feel nothing, but the stomach and ears are completely infatuated.'

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

'We can order Lebanese, Thai, Italian, Indian, Greek or Chinese...'

'I'm a vegetarian.' - 'If it's so wrong to eat animals, why are they made out of meat?'

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

It turns out they don't go together so well,

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

The Main Types of Cheese

Too much cilantro

'You wanted to be a wine maker in the worst way, Paul - and you've succeeded.'

Tarzan of the Grapes.

To do before Saturday...

"I forgot to take a pic of the tacos."

'I go to St. Patrick's Church, I go to St. Patrick's School, and my name is Patrick. Is it also necessary for me to eat green food?'

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

"Grass...Grass and more damn grass... What I wouldn't give for a lightly poached Dover sole with a garlic infused tarragon sauce."

"The recipe said to let the chicken rest after it comes out of the oven!"

"This is locally grown and good for the environment, but it may give you greenhouse gas."

'Why, thank you. When they started the vineyard five generations ago, I heard they were shooting for freakin' awesome.'

'This wine is dreadful - try some.'

"The soup of the day is pineapple with a hint of rum."

The Origins of Everything

Holiday Supplies

Cheese

"Spoiler alert! If you read the specials, you'll find out the Chef's Surprise!"

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

"I use broccoli rabe as a litmus test."

'Is this still America?'