Global Warming Enthusiasts Gifts

Australian boffins are using kangaroo stomach bacteria in cows to stop them farting methane! 'Strewth!'

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

Scarcity

'What's the big deal about acid rain? Can't we just make alkaline rain to counteract it?'

"I'm spooked - they don't want candy, they want ice water!"

Correct Comics *Drawn By A Vegetarian On Acid-Free Recycled Paper In A Drug-Free Environment

Cloning Dept. Ooh! She's got your eyes and nose, mouth...

"Yeah, the Jekyll and Hyde thing is weird, but if I play it right, I get fed twice."

'GM apples prevent Migraine'

'I don't give advice. I'm only up here because it's safer.'

"The tuna is endangered, the lettuce was recalled and the tomatoes were hit by a drought. I can give you mayo on a roll."

Antihistamine Rally At National Sinus Cavity

"I'm studying the effects of prolonged radiation exposure on a panzerotti."

Global Warming.

"No, Einstein's theory of relativity isn't, 'don't marry your cousin.'"

'What it all means is, ker-booom!'

"Well, we got the grant."

Free Range Golfers

'I started off as a single cell and now I'm in one.'

'Just for kicks, let's come up with something that has a good side effect.'

'The Algenist meets the Alchemist.'

'I've got an amoeba here who wants to go to Officer's Candidate School.'

'Of course he reminds you of yourself at his age -- he's your clone.'

Professor Biggens instantly regretted putting his head into the particle accelerator...

"To return to normal height professor, we simply: 1. Switch on The Nano-Ray. 2. Find the Plug; 3. Insert it..."

'Well, shoot. Now Uncle Hector's caught in the ice! It's enough to make you want to move to Florida.'

Albert Einstein Tells A Joke. . .

'Boy or girl, straight or gay - I don't care as long as it's science-literate and non-republican.'

"But Herman, we can't just throw in the towel like that."

Science fair judge sees flower pot broken on floor near sign saying 'gravity'.

"Hi, everyone! Thanks for coming to our gender reveal party. We've got something really special planned."

Rats in a laboratory labelled: 'Test, Control, Pet.'