Glass Fitter Gifts

'Don't worry, Fred, there's nothing there, but it always stops the traffic for us to cross the road.'

Sorry, what did you say? This new double glazing will be good for noise reduction!

'Is the glass half full, Wally, or half empty?' - 'Oh, oh! Trick question!'

Bottle Bank: For the Colour Blind.

Tommy Cooper at the bottle bank - Glass, Bottle, Bottle, Glass..

"I just cleaned that glass! How can it already be covered in nose prints?!"

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

"Our business is based on breakthroughs."

Potichomania (The art of decorating glass), as carried out by Master Tom in the Easter holidays.

'Hello, Robinson Crusoe here, I'd like my kitchen finished by Friday.'

"I wanted to make it look like the ones at church."

'Sorry, I'm afraid it was a false alarm. It turns out that 'the emergency gas leak' was my husband.'

"I know the schools are great, but is this really the house we want to ride out the apocalypse in?"

Wine-tasting Tour.

'Your Majesty, the Pretender to the Throne is here.'

Man blowing glass. His dentures have fallen out and are in the glass bubble.

"I heard they make glass from sand but I have no idea where to begin."

"I told him to trim a couple of inches off the middle and he thought it was a fat remark."

'I wonder how you flush this thing?'

'Dear oh dear, what cowboy did this then?'

"I'm getting a slight draught through the double glazing, you fitted for me."

'Okay, son...Today, I want you to play soccer at Poolbeg Street, Gloucester Street and East Lombard Street!'

'I like to get here right when Dave opens up, and get a clean glass.'

'I tend to look on the negative side of things. Do you guys do rose coloured glasses'

'I thought your quote for 'putting windows in' was cheap.'

'Here, if you don't do windows, you're through!'

"Thursdays and Saturdays, it's glassblowing, Mondays and Wednesdays it's Morris dancing!"

Optometry. I'll take them.

J.Froggett Glaziers - "Now go get some business"

"Gee! It must be great living next to a golf course!"

'Ye olde optician.'

Glass Production

The Rake's Progress - The young heir takes possession of the miser's effects.

'I had a cough at the time.'