Glamper Gifts

'Don't give me the 'wild bear' routine! I've seen your condo!'

'Camping is nature's way of promoting B&Bs.'

Diamond outfits

'Now Featuring Gas-Fired Microwave Campfires!'

'I don't like to take chances.'

"You keep an eye on our horse. I'm checking to see if the bookie runs off with our money."

'It's great to get back to the simple life'

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Horsekeeping - No. IX

'No, you can't play poker tonight! The last time you played, you lost Schewig-Holstein!'

The Epsom Derby - Bookies

'In the 20 minutes it took for the pit boss to come back with a comp for the $10 buffet, I lost another $500.'

'This could be me and you, your honor. Heading for Las Vegas!'

"I'll see your Sirloin and raise you a New York Strip."

'What's the point of a bookmakers if there's nowhere left that sells books?'

Best friends without borders.

"You can get good cards but still have terrible luck."

"Have you been scratching this?"

'Why do you always win at cards but not horses? I can't shuffle the horses.'

Teacher to student: 'Nice use of glitter, but you were assigned to do math problems.'

A rainbow umbrella

"Yeah, uh, maybe you're not cut out to be the 'sparkly' kind of vampire."

Worm Bed

'My wife encourages this. She thinks I'm playing the Russian version.'

'Frank has won 20 hands in a row. I'm beginning to think that's not him, but rather a robot with a poker computer installed.'

'Moses, you'd better be in that bathtub!!'

Blowing up the camping mattress.

Blackjack: free lemonade!

Shirley MacLaine caricature

Solitaire card shark.

'Sunglasses? Silly hats? Face cards?'

'Well, sure, two pair is nice but nothing beats five singles!'

Unnatural Selection.

'Hey, that's a bad roll. Let's try that again.'