Gambler Gifts

"If he has a tell, I haven't found it."

"I think he may have a system."

Slot machine - Early retirement.

"Why don't you try a different style of gambling? Like Russian roulette."

'And you take the fall in the second quarter, okay?'

'Frank has won 20 hands in a row. I'm beginning to think that's not him, but rather a robot with a poker computer installed.'

'What's the point of a bookmakers if there's nowhere left that sells books?'

'Me invent the wheel!'

"This fundamentally changes everything we know about elephants!"

'You've become unbearable since you started working in that betting shop!'

'Remember the plan: on the final stretch, you go down.'

'I don't like to take chances.'

"Never seen a cow before?"

Bob wondered why his odds had rocketed to 100-1.

The Cock Pit.

'Ted, here, specializes in short term investments.'

Careful Zeke... I think this guy has played before.

-"It would have been a photo finish..." -"Yes, but by the time our horse got there it was too dark for a photo!"

Kangaroo winning on a one-armed bandit.

'Ha-ha, that's so random.'

'Lucky you! I see cherries!...No, wait. They're cranberries'

'Look at'em... They're HUGE.'

"Don't you think I should at least get a no-claims bonus?.. None of my horses have ever won!"

"This quarter we're very bullish on red."

'So much for the wheel - Now to invent the CASINO!'

Yes, I had great fun at the zoo yesterday. Daddy had fun too, especially when one of the animals came in at thirty to one."

The Epsom Derby - Bookies

A parley with the card-sharpers

The Marchioness at cards

'So, you fall behind the tortoise in the second lap. I don't care if you sleep, trip, have a brain hemorrhage. You fall behind, bunny! Am I making myself clear?'

A Good Bet.

'I don't care if you hit the office football pool - get back to work!'

'You'll never get a job in a supercasino if you don't pass your maths.'

Dinosaurs Playing Poker.

'C'mon square root of 49!'