Avid Gambler Gifts

"Absolutely worth it."

Golfer Shouts at Ball to Go Into Hole.

'The C minus was sufficient. I didn't need the advice against hiring a literary agent.'

''C-minus'? ??" Do you know how long it took me to find and download this term paper?'

Beware of the crafty Kia bird of New Zealand.

"This was a wicked-hard test. I'm pretty sure everybody got a bad grade."

'I love it here. It really floats my boat.'

'I don't like to take chances.'

"You keep an eye on our horse. I'm checking to see if the bookie runs off with our money."

"Better luck next time, kid."

'No, you can't play poker tonight! The last time you played, you lost Schewig-Holstein!'

The Epsom Derby - Bookies

'In the 20 minutes it took for the pit boss to come back with a comp for the $10 buffet, I lost another $500.'

"I'll see your Sirloin and raise you a New York Strip."

'This could be me and you, your honor. Heading for Las Vegas!'

'What's the point of a bookmakers if there's nowhere left that sells books?'

YOU HAVE A VERY LARGE GENIUS GRANT LINE.

'My wife encourages this. She thinks I'm playing the Russian version.'

"Have you been scratching this?"

'Why do you always win at cards but not horses? I can't shuffle the horses.'

Worm Bed

"You can get good cards but still have terrible luck."

'Frank has won 20 hands in a row. I'm beginning to think that's not him, but rather a robot with a poker computer installed.'

Blackjack: free lemonade!

Stockmarket investor's trays 'Up' and 'Down'.

"Just sign it, or I'll post YOUR old report cards on social media."

'Sunglasses? Silly hats? Face cards?'

Unnatural Selection.

'Well, sure, two pair is nice but nothing beats five singles!'

Solitaire card shark.

'Hey, that's a bad roll. Let's try that again.'

Despite his perfect 'Poker Face'. the others always seemed to know when Toby had a good hand...

Before becoming the legend that he is today, Nostradamus first enjoyed a pretty good living at the tracks.

'Do you think he'll win the second race?'

Monkey casino study.