Grant Gambler Gifts

YOU HAVE A VERY LARGE GENIUS GRANT LINE.

'The C minus was sufficient. I didn't need the advice against hiring a literary agent.'

''C-minus'? ??" Do you know how long it took me to find and download this term paper?'

Procrastinator Foumdation: 'We're putting off the decision to fund you for at least another month...'

"This was a wicked-hard test. I'm pretty sure everybody got a bad grade."

'I don't like to take chances.'

"You keep an eye on our horse. I'm checking to see if the bookie runs off with our money."

'No, you can't play poker tonight! The last time you played, you lost Schewig-Holstein!'

"Better luck next time, kid."

The Epsom Derby - Bookies

'This could be me and you, your honor. Heading for Las Vegas!'

'In the 20 minutes it took for the pit boss to come back with a comp for the $10 buffet, I lost another $500.'

"I'll see your Sirloin and raise you a New York Strip."

'What's the point of a bookmakers if there's nowhere left that sells books?'

'Why do you always win at cards but not horses? I can't shuffle the horses.'

"Have you been scratching this?"

'My wife encourages this. She thinks I'm playing the Russian version.'

December 26 - Vegas, office (post) Christmas party.

Worm Bed

"You can get good cards but still have terrible luck."

'Frank has won 20 hands in a row. I'm beginning to think that's not him, but rather a robot with a poker computer installed.'

"And for only $19.99 I can give you my super bowl pick."

"Just sign it, or I'll post YOUR old report cards on social media."

'Well, sure, two pair is nice but nothing beats five singles!'

'Hey, that's a bad roll. Let's try that again.'

Solitaire card shark.

Doctor's poker.

'Sunglasses? Silly hats? Face cards?'

"The nonprofit competitive grant season begins

Stockmarket investor's trays 'Up' and 'Down'.

"I'll see your two and raise you three."

Blackjack: free lemonade!

Unnatural Selection.

Despite his perfect 'Poker Face'. the others always seemed to know when Toby had a good hand...

Before becoming the legend that he is today, Nostradamus first enjoyed a pretty good living at the tracks.