Grant Gambler Pillows

YOU HAVE A VERY LARGE GENIUS GRANT LINE.

'The C minus was sufficient. I didn't need the advice against hiring a literary agent.'

''C-minus'? ??" Do you know how long it took me to find and download this term paper?'

Procrastinator Foumdation: 'We're putting off the decision to fund you for at least another month...'

"This was a wicked-hard test. I'm pretty sure everybody got a bad grade."

'I don't like to take chances.'

"You keep an eye on our horse. I'm checking to see if the bookie runs off with our money."

"Better luck next time, kid."

'No, you can't play poker tonight! The last time you played, you lost Schewig-Holstein!'

The Epsom Derby - Bookies

'In the 20 minutes it took for the pit boss to come back with a comp for the $10 buffet, I lost another $500.'

"I'll see your Sirloin and raise you a New York Strip."

'This could be me and you, your honor. Heading for Las Vegas!'

'What's the point of a bookmakers if there's nowhere left that sells books?'

'My wife encourages this. She thinks I'm playing the Russian version.'

Worm Bed

'Why do you always win at cards but not horses? I can't shuffle the horses.'

"Have you been scratching this?"

December 26 - Vegas, office (post) Christmas party.

"You can get good cards but still have terrible luck."

'Frank has won 20 hands in a row. I'm beginning to think that's not him, but rather a robot with a poker computer installed.'

'Sunglasses? Silly hats? Face cards?'

"Just sign it, or I'll post YOUR old report cards on social media."

Stockmarket investor's trays 'Up' and 'Down'.

"The nonprofit competitive grant season begins

Unnatural Selection.

Solitaire card shark.

'Hey, that's a bad roll. Let's try that again.'

Blackjack: free lemonade!

Doctor's poker.

'Well, sure, two pair is nice but nothing beats five singles!'

"I'll see your two and raise you three."

Despite his perfect 'Poker Face'. the others always seemed to know when Toby had a good hand...

Before becoming the legend that he is today, Nostradamus first enjoyed a pretty good living at the tracks.

'Do you think he'll win the second race?'