Avid Gamer Gifts

'It looks like a fantasy football injury.'

Golfer Shouts at Ball to Go Into Hole.

'Look! The new long awaited, highly anticipated but ultimately disappointing novel by that guy you like.'

Beware of the crafty Kia bird of New Zealand.

Dickens & Tolstoy Walk into a Bar: " . . . so, to make a short story long . . . "

'I love it here. It really floats my boat.'

Old Lady in shoe driving a footie (sock) car.

"Gifted class, indeed! One is gifted in science, but can't rad - one is fixed in reading, but won't even try math..."

"Mrs. Berg calls my book report a finely crafted debut and she looks forward to my next effort."

"Barb's such a fast reader."

"Did you ask for the large print edition?"

Can I go to the Computer Tennis Camp?

Self-Improvement, Self-Empowerment, Self-Aggrandizement

Death comes to both the Archbishop and the Salesman in Venice

Dog Training. Most of the choices the dogs made for their book reports are logical. The labrador retriever chose "Catch-22." The terrier, who loves to dig, chose "Journey to the Center of the Earth." The basset hound is doing his on "The Howling." and the shar-pei picked "A Wrinkle in Time." But the dachshund's choice confuses me. Even with the ground-hugging physique, he selected "Wuthering Heights."

TV vs Reading

'Go and fish Darling, I'll be fine: I have some reading for the next few weeks...'

Virginia Foxx Caricature

Tom, you may not want to pause so long at the top of your swing.

The Subtitle

Quite literary.

"Oh, that reminds me of this article I barely remember."

"Actually, my species is not nocturnal: I'm just a teenager..."

'Looks like a case of Reader's Indigestion. How long were you in our waiting room?'

Your Luggage

"Look Mommy, reserves!"

Your library book is overdue.

Shop manager drives digger to remove persistent magazine readers

"Ah, the beach. My old nemesis."

Harold Pinter

Bookmobile.

"Baldo, no normal kid is excited about summer ending."

Read this book! It will never be a motion picture or even a made for TV movie.

A bird has eaten all a fisherman's bait.

"Must you insist on reading like that?!"