Gambler In The Making Gifts

"I don't care how much he won, I don't want him playing online poker!"

'The C minus was sufficient. I didn't need the advice against hiring a literary agent.'

''C-minus'? ??" Do you know how long it took me to find and download this term paper?'

"This was a wicked-hard test. I'm pretty sure everybody got a bad grade."

'I don't like to take chances.'

"You keep an eye on our horse. I'm checking to see if the bookie runs off with our money."

"Better luck next time, kid."

'No, you can't play poker tonight! The last time you played, you lost Schewig-Holstein!'

The Epsom Derby - Bookies

'This could be me and you, your honor. Heading for Las Vegas!'

'In the 20 minutes it took for the pit boss to come back with a comp for the $10 buffet, I lost another $500.'

"I'll see your Sirloin and raise you a New York Strip."

'What's the point of a bookmakers if there's nowhere left that sells books?'

"Honey, the dog learned a new trick. And now I owe him twelve dollars."

'Why do you always win at cards but not horses? I can't shuffle the horses.'

'My wife encourages this. She thinks I'm playing the Russian version.'

Worm Bed

"Have you been scratching this?"

"You can get good cards but still have terrible luck."

'Frank has won 20 hands in a row. I'm beginning to think that's not him, but rather a robot with a poker computer installed.'

"And for only $19.99 I can give you my super bowl pick."

Solitaire card shark.

'Sunglasses? Silly hats? Face cards?'

Unnatural Selection.

'Well, sure, two pair is nice but nothing beats five singles!'

"What do you recommend today?"

"Just sign it, or I'll post YOUR old report cards on social media."

'Hey, that's a bad roll. Let's try that again.'

"I'll see your two and raise you three."

Blackjack: free lemonade!

Before becoming the legend that he is today, Nostradamus first enjoyed a pretty good living at the tracks.

Despite his perfect 'Poker Face'. the others always seemed to know when Toby had a good hand...

"That's okay, I lost my wife years ago. Worst poker hand I ever played."

Monkey casino study.

'Do you think he'll win the second race?'