Gambler In Training Gifts

"Better luck next time, kid."

'The C minus was sufficient. I didn't need the advice against hiring a literary agent.'

''C-minus'? ??" Do you know how long it took me to find and download this term paper?'

"This was a wicked-hard test. I'm pretty sure everybody got a bad grade."

'I don't like to take chances.'

"You keep an eye on our horse. I'm checking to see if the bookie runs off with our money."

"Are you sure how to use a baitcaster?"

'No, you can't play poker tonight! The last time you played, you lost Schewig-Holstein!'

The Epsom Derby - Bookies

'This could be me and you, your honor. Heading for Las Vegas!'

"I'll see your Sirloin and raise you a New York Strip."

'In the 20 minutes it took for the pit boss to come back with a comp for the $10 buffet, I lost another $500.'

'What's the point of a bookmakers if there's nowhere left that sells books?'

"Honey, the dog learned a new trick. And now I owe him twelve dollars."

"You can get good cards but still have terrible luck."

"Have you been scratching this?"

Worm Bed

Children's party - Pin the Tail using a tablet

'My wife encourages this. She thinks I'm playing the Russian version.'

'Why do you always win at cards but not horses? I can't shuffle the horses.'

'Swing?! I'll drop my handheld!'

'Frank has won 20 hands in a row. I'm beginning to think that's not him, but rather a robot with a poker computer installed.'

"And for only $19.99 I can give you my super bowl pick."

'Well, sure, two pair is nice but nothing beats five singles!'

Chris felt that, with diligence, he could teach Jack to hit a 1-iron by 11 months.

Unnatural Selection.

Solitaire card shark.

'It's called a 'hat' -- you tip it to women instead of hitting them over the head with a club.'

'Sunglasses? Silly hats? Face cards?'

"Just sign it, or I'll post YOUR old report cards on social media."

"I'll see your two and raise you three."

'Hey, that's a bad roll. Let's try that again.'

Blackjack: free lemonade!

Before becoming the legend that he is today, Nostradamus first enjoyed a pretty good living at the tracks.

'Do you think he'll win the second race?'