Giggle-inducing Gift Giver Pillows

"I'd hate to see the flea big enough to wear those!"

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"Until the plaster sets, try not to laugh."

Mighty Man Of Justice Goes Christmas Shopping Part 1

'Take my tip,sonny and say it with jelly babies.'

"Happy Anniversary, dear! It's a gold spray-painted macaroni necklace."

"And at no extra charge I can give your old suit a Viking funeral."

Little girl hoses down walkway as Santa slips and falls

"'How We Die' - fabulous!"

Christmas Presents.

That must be my computer date... (Answers door to robot).

Clown's Cuckoo Clock.

'Oh, we have an excellent benefits package ??" major medical, dental plan, vacation, retirement, nude encounter sessions....'

I'm worried about Uncle Mort. He's still in jail for refusing to reveal his secret source? Not just that. It's his relationship with Sadie. I feel like … What? She says she wants him back, but I'm not sure. Why would you say something like that? Your sweetie made you a saw with a cake in it. Oooh.

"Remember when we talked about how you send mixed messages. . ."

"I'm dating a lunar astronaut!"

'We may need to remove your spleen because it might not be doing whatever it is the spleen does.'

'I gotta bad feeling about this.'

My therapist cured me of using humour as a defense...these days I pack a .45.

"Recycled, Wayne, we'd prefer 'recycled'."

"It's not a moustache kiddo: It's nasal hair..."

'Who's ready for laughter-- the best medicine?!!!'

'Darling, I want you to have this lock of my hair to remind you how much I love you.'

Bernice Mountain Dog

Magazines layout Christmas issues months in advance so a woe of cartoonists is struggling to draw Christmas gags in the July heat.

"Great news! Jim at work's promised to lend me all his World Cup DVDs"

'And it comes with oven mitts, butter, sour cream and chives.'

"The party was a total surprise! Everybody jumped out and screamed 'Happy Birthday' just as I was licking my balls!"

Rent-a-Drama: "How many tweens will you need for your event?"

Joke Shop product - Not Funny After 10 Sept 87

WC problem.

Undertaker with 'light', 'done', and 'RIP' settings on his toaster.

'You did want him wrapped, didn't you?'

Frankenstein's Monster receiving birthday present.

'Nothing from the Nobel Committee or the National Endowment for the Arts, but 'Joe' wants you to write some napkins for his bar.'