Gig Economy Humorist Pillows

"Everyone's waiting to have babies, so I had to pick up a side gig."

"I heard about your new job . . . congratulations!"

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

Thrift: have your arms and legs amputated, use a pillow for a bed!

'Pretty strange term, market share, considering the whole object is not to.'

"The fish - will it be the market price at the time of ordering, the time of eating or the time of paying?"

"No, it hasn't, but when the sky does fall your investments are going to do very, very, well.''

Aliens - 'We heard stuff is cheap here.'

Trickledown economics

'Nonsense, Harry, it's my treat. I'm filing for bankruptcy tomorrow.'

Office of economic forecasting.

Escaping Black Hole - '..But captain that's the pensions black hole there is no escape!'

Working one day a year doesn't pay the bills

'We buy and sell them.'

'Today the stock market closed early so money managers could take time to stop and smell the profits.'

'It's the NEW Chinese Stock Market Report.'

"Times are perfect for us masochists!..."

"This town ain't big enough for the both of us and, even if it was, I doubt either of us could afford to buy a place here given the current sellers' market."

'Oh dear. I seem to have put the decimal point in the wrong place again.'

A Double-Dip Recession with Sprinkles

'I think we're going to have to add another storey downstairs...'

'Consumer confidence is up.. in the 'Money in the mattress' sector.'

'Someday, Son, all of this will be yo....!'

"That man's a legend in this office. He has 100% accuracy in predicting the past."

"He is stingy. If he is giving gold it's only because prices have hit rock-bottom..."

'Due to budget cutbacks, we need to get by with less.'

"You look perfectly suited for managing on the pigeons have a salary that goes with the job!"

'Great! Thanks to the damn mortage crisis, we've got to live in a neighbourhood now where we wake up with yellow feet every second morning...'

Government Handouts.

First Market Decline

Grand Opening and Closing Down Sale simultaneously occurring.

Thanks to his stocks, Bob now lives in the middle of a great green garden outside the crowded city.

Sign - 'Warning: Government Spending Objectives Are Larger Than They Actually Appear.'

"Since it cost as much as our house, can we take out a mortgage instead of a loan?"