Gift Logistics Fan Pillows

..Because if Santa brings you big slabs of venison, he won't be able to get to the other children's homes.

"Can you make me look like Wolverine?"

The Age of Reptiles. . .

"I've put on a few ounces, but it's mostly paperweight."

Hey, I think I found something. Heavy metal detector.

Dr. Frankenstein creates his newest monster, Frankenmime.

Oh yeh? Well at least he doesn't get fleas.

I love Museum Shops

'Yes, it's just a little volume.'

"I knew we should have gotten the shorter tree."

Wind turbine and leaf blower.

I always forget - Are we supposed to tip?

'The service is so much better when you dress as royalty.'

"Every abductee gets a souvenir mug."

"Teenagers! Everyone try to look cool!"

Never give a cow a giant straw.

It became increasingly difficult for the captain to reward his crew and still maintain his ferocious reputation.

'You should work for Conglomo. You're allowed the vegetable of your choice.'

'I mean, what sort of thief only takes a dog bowl?'

Man with desk wrapped as a Christmas present.

"And when the extended warranty kicks in, we send you a big can of new car smell."

Captain Ahab (Ret.)

'Are you going exploring or retrieving a duck?'

'There's a little bit of my late husband in every glass - I used his ashes as a fining agent.'

'Brand X, the wine for those with indiscriminate taste.'

Good stripper cop / Bad stripper cop

Shaman reads magazine entitled 'Witch Doctor'.

Millionaire trapped in the body of a bum. Please help correct the situation. ?

Emergency Underpants

"I've been a postie for 20 years. . ."

'We only have one brand of beer, but we've got six kinds of flavor straws.'

Toast kidnapper.

What's really in junk food...

'The Ugoola's wheel is bigger than ours!'

House for Sale.