Gift Shop Fan Pillows

I love Museum Shops

"Can you make me look like Wolverine?"

"I've put on a few ounces, but it's mostly paperweight."

Hey, I think I found something. Heavy metal detector.

"I knew we should have gotten the shorter tree."

Sister Cities

Corner Bakery ... Bread and Breakfast.

'The service is so much better when you dress as royalty.'

"You order the raspberry danish?"

It became increasingly difficult for the captain to reward his crew and still maintain his ferocious reputation.

Man with desk wrapped as a Christmas present.

Captain Ahab (Ret.)

"And when the extended warranty kicks in, we send you a big can of new car smell."

'Are you going exploring or retrieving a duck?'

'There's a little bit of my late husband in every glass - I used his ashes as a fining agent.'

Emergency Underpants

Sudoku toilet paper

What's really in junk food...

Hooks R Us.

Hole Sale

Cave painting merchandise for sale

'Didn't I tell you? We've decided to go public?'

'You've been on eBay again haven't you?'

"No plans set in stone yet, but I'll probably spend some time getting on my wife's last nerve, maybe hyperfocus on the lawn."

The eskimo lottery...

Every Easter the chickens would play the same old joke on Farmer Brown

"Do you have anything new. . ?"

For the community garage sale...

'I gotta be honest with you. . . I wouldn't be in business if it weren't for smart folks like you who can't pass up a bargain on stuff they don't need.'

Dog retrieves slippers instead of birds.

Oranges

Jesus meets the 'Little Drummer Boy' again later in life...

'Never misplace a remote control again with this RemoteT-shirt, velcro combo!'

Market. Last night I spilled broth on my store discount clipping for mustard. There's soup on your Poupon coupon!

..Because if Santa brings you big slabs of venison, he won't be able to get to the other children's homes.