Gift Grumbler Pillows

'I know it's the thought that counts, it's just I didn't realise a human was capable of thinking so low!'

#Thanksgiving #Nofilter

Irritable trowel syndrome.

'What makes me mad, I was only a couple seats away from all the right answers!'

'Can I help it if she's a rotten teacher?'

Rodin's Irish Judge

Boring and unnecessary meetings

'He kept saying, I'm sick of weeds. I'm sick of weeds until he got sick of weeds.'

'Quicker to cycle anyway, mate...'

"We saw some inspired lunacy, then had some uninspired Italian."

"My computer still won't work. It must still hold a grudge from when I punched it in frustration."

Heathrow Protesters - This airport's rubbish!

"Yes, you should have studied harder and no, you can't unsubscribe from 5th grade."

'I got a darn D-plus, and that's WITH cheating!'

"This test wasn't fair! No way it's an accurate measure of what I know!"

Le Bolshie Chef.

'Why does the phone always have to ring when I'm out of the bath?!'

I can't think of anything more embarrassing than wearing one of these stupid gowns.

Can you tell me how to sue you for flunking me out of law school?

'This food is revolting. And such small portions.'

'No, I'm still standing in this stupid line looking at the back of somebody's stupid head.'

Sorry, this game is not available in your area

"Perfect weather,wounderful food...and it all distracted me from spending the whole day at my computer terminal!"

"All done with winter, are we, dear?"

"If you are angry at being kept on hold, press 1, if you are furious press 2, if you are apoplectic with rage ..."

"Too sunny for you. Too dry. Whatever next?"

'We've figured out your problem. You're allergic to grapes.'

'D-plus? -- I demand a recount!'

Supermarket Self Service Checkout

'Since he retired, it's been all play and no work, but he's STILL a dull boy!'

'Can you believe I got a 'C' in English? And I was doing to good!'

Permanently Offended By Something

'He's reached his limit with Government health advice.'

"Waiter, will this meal be much longer? That's the third time you've replaced my candle!"

'I never thought Ms. Wilson would use the letters of the alphabet against me.'