Grape Grumbler Pillows

'We've figured out your problem. You're allergic to grapes.'

"...And perhaps Sir would care to look at the whine list..."

#Thanksgiving #Nofilter

Irritable trowel syndrome.

'What makes me mad, I was only a couple seats away from all the right answers!'

'Can I help it if she's a rotten teacher?'

Rodin's Irish Judge

'He kept saying, I'm sick of weeds. I'm sick of weeds until he got sick of weeds.'

'Quicker to cycle anyway, mate...'

'I got a darn D-plus, and that's WITH cheating!'

Heathrow Protesters - This airport's rubbish!

"We saw some inspired lunacy, then had some uninspired Italian."

"My computer still won't work. It must still hold a grudge from when I punched it in frustration."

"Yes, you should have studied harder and no, you can't unsubscribe from 5th grade."

Le Bolshie Chef.

'Why does the phone always have to ring when I'm out of the bath?!'

'Hey, you should be thanking us for improving your cluster-to-leaf balance.'

Can you tell me how to sue you for flunking me out of law school?

"This test wasn't fair! No way it's an accurate measure of what I know!"

'This food is revolting. And such small portions.'

'No, I'm still standing in this stupid line looking at the back of somebody's stupid head.'

"Perfect weather,wounderful food...and it all distracted me from spending the whole day at my computer terminal!"

"If you are angry at being kept on hold, press 1, if you are furious press 2, if you are apoplectic with rage ..."

"All done with winter, are we, dear?"

'I hate Mondays!'

"Too sunny for you. Too dry. Whatever next?"

'D-plus? -- I demand a recount!'

Supermarket Self Service Checkout

'Since he retired, it's been all play and no work, but he's STILL a dull boy!'

'Can you believe I got a 'C' in English? And I was doing to good!'

'I know it's the thought that counts, it's just I didn't realise a human was capable of thinking so low!'

Permanently Offended By Something

'I never thought Ms. Wilson would use the letters of the alphabet against me.'

Man kicking an exclamation mark.

"Waiter, will this meal be much longer? That's the third time you've replaced my candle!"