Gift-giving Skeptics Pillows

'Two idiots don't make a good gift!'

'Take my tip,sonny and say it with jelly babies.'

Easter Island Cheeseheads

"'How We Die' - fabulous!"

'Oh, we have an excellent benefits package ??" major medical, dental plan, vacation, retirement, nude encounter sessions....'

A baby using a heavy duty drill

Tipping Pain Chart

"I asked for a bottle of something that would make men drool over me. This is bourbon."

"Looks like you both suffer from IBS. You...irritable bowel. Your friend...irritable burl."

Sorry about the odor --- Phone booths have gone out of style so I had to change in a dumpster.

The Doll's afternoon tea party had taken an unexpected ad dramatic turn.

Rent-a-Drama: "How many tweens will you need for your event?"

Christmas Dwarves

'Joey, I know how fast you are, but this guy's a special problem.'

"I can't afford to feed you."

"I'm looking for something that the recipient will be too embarrassed to regift."

Cannibal Moms : "Remember kids, no dessert until you eat all or your vegetarian!"

'Come on...no one would be dumb enough to buy those in a million years!'

An Anarchist's Christmas

The Leaning Tower of Pizza

Octopus

"Oi, who are you bleedin' looking at?"

'Just what I wanted. Not!'

"Yes, Doreen, I think I am capable of unconditional love."

'That's a nice gift, Bobby, but I asked for SHIP in a bottle.'

'Cookies and cream!'

Restroom in the stadium has goal toilet fresheners.

Shovel your driveway?

Why T-Rex Did Not Go Noodling

'. . . we should never have asked mummy what she really wanted for mother's day.'

Epitaph - 'I'm With Stupid'

"It's a gift for the tooth fairy so I used dental floss instead of ribbon."

'I know it's the thought that counts - what were you thinking?'

'I wanted to be a fighter pilot. But I'm colour blind. What can you do?'

'He wants a good flyrod.'