Gestation Ponderers Pillows

"Great! I must be growing. The womb was less than half full last week."

"No wonder babies are born screaming. I haven't had a wink of sleep since the exit light came on!"

"Were we expecting a baby?"

"Sorry, that was just the wet diaper talking."

'And when your mother said that you would never be an Olympic gymnast, how did that make you feel?'

"I don't know why I worry...Baldo's just a normal boy. It's good to see him maturing...making friends...with nice girls...exploring new feelings...and desires.... You have to go home now."

"I hear you may do a baby."

"You got the dolls yesterday? My mom says I took nine months!"

'Hey Mum, look what I caught!'

'Mom says she has a souffl

Uterus: One size fits all.

'Soon, you will start to notice changes in your body... massive, horrifying changes.'

'You're due in September, however, since you're not mentally ready, let's make it October!'

"Really? After all these years of you begging me to let you come and howl at the moon, now that you're a teenager, it's not cool to be seen with your dad!"

"Weeds are like kids. They grow up so fast."

Sex Education

"I needed a gig to tide me over between baby booms."

'Male, 38, still living with his parents. They asked us to keep him overnight, so they could change the locks.'

'I've had some strange cravings during my pregnancy. Such as the one to strangle my husband.'

'It's not that I don't want more kids Victoria, I'm worried I won't have enough skin for their names.'

'WOW, congratulations, Ma'am! You're having Quads!'

'Well, great! I raise you to be a vicious bird of prey, and you wanna be a songbird!'

'Ted, you won't climb the corporate ladder if you keep taking paternity leave!'

"You'll find they stay pretty needy 'til about 300 months."

'When are you going to take it out of its original package?'

Bumper Limos

Happy Mothers Day

"it's just... we're too lazy to have any of our own."

"I'm your surrogate mother, son. I just provided the oven."

'If Aunt Arctica is on the bottom of the world, does that mean Uncle Artica is on top of the world?'

Children.

"I was hoping you'd have outgrown that by now."

"Math would have been a 'A' if you factor in the fudge factor. I got caught fudging on the final."

"May I say, sir, the staff and I just knew you'd see through that Beaujolais."

'So, the Father is a native of Easter Island?'