Gerontology Geek Gifts

"Scientists have extended the life of the fruit fly."

'Don't worry about it Bob: 130 is the new 100...'

"You're going to have to submit to peer review eventually, Bradshaw!"

Gifts for a cloned baby!

'It's really more of a family forest than a family tree.'

"Something's wrong with the broccoli. Please take it back to the kitchen and have it genetically modified."

'Almost everything I have hurts and what doesn't hurt doesn't work!'

"Remember, you're only as old as your peel."

"His name is James Tom Dave Jon Lee Robert Glenn Joseph Tony Sam Barnes. We didn't want to hurt any relatives' feelings by not naming him after them."

"It appears that you'll definitely outlive your usefulness."

Welsh airport arrivals.

Lighthouse has energy efficient light bulb.

'He's got your nose.'

School. I like solving problems with X's and Y's, so I'll probably go into either math or genetics!

"I've been genetically modified!"

"...We've traced your lineage all the way back to a 15th-century East European Count."

'Friends, lab rats, country mice, lend me your ears...'

Genetic Fingerprinting.

The end is near

'Eureka! I found the gene that causes people to sell low and buy high!'

'It looks like you're suffering from TMB... too many birthdays...'

Ideas that failed: Goliath Goats.

"I'm Bobby. If you like the lemonade, perhaps you'd like to invest in the 'Jimmy's Lemonade' franchise, listed in NASDAQ..."

'This may be an old computer, but it won the March Madness office pool again and wants the money deposited in its Swiss bank account.'

"We're going to need more pets."

'Darling, we were made for each other.'

'This reminds me...what generation iPhone are you?'

'He's got your tattoos.'

Henry Ford

DNA Xmas.

"Yeah, vertical cemeteries are helping urban sustainability. But going by haunted cemetery standards ... kinda lame."

'You may share 85% of your genetic material with him, but I share 5% tops.'

Foxconn: Outsourcer Outsources Outsourced...What?

"Fortunately I hold the patent for the gene that's causing the ringing in your ears, and I can refer you to the doctor who holds the patent for the gene that's causing the pain in your ears."

"Don't worry Mac, I'll have that happy face back in no time."