Germophobe's Delight Gifts

The Cougher

'And best of all, it kills germs that cause bad breath!'

Sneezing

"Your only job in this restaurant is to constantly wash your hands in front of customers."

Zika Epidemic

"If that's the chief medical officer I'm not here."

The new normal

HELLth Food Sprouts

A mosquito cleaning the surface of a person's arm before sucking out the blood.

'I'm referring you to a specialist who isn't as afraid to die as I am.'

"That's a semi-private room for you. You caught his, and he caught yours."

"No, I'm not able to transplant your computer's antivirus software into your body. Try washing your hands more often."

"Apparently Harry is gone viral!"

Confined by Coronavirus

Drive Thru Flu Clinic

Remember to wash your hands: "...but not compulsively."

Hazmat suit

"Gesundheit!"

'Aside from the cockroach, how was everything?'

Hand Sanitisers

Auntie Bacterial

"Wait – did you wash your hands?"

Employees must wash hands.

'Don't take this personally, Walter, but go home!'

"Yes, it's a sprinkler system, but it's not water. It's antibacterial soap. It is flu season."

Woman looking at a vending machine for feminine hygiene products in a public restroom that reads "Unsanitary napkins".

"And that's why you shouldn't sneeze into your mask."

"Relax. It's just a cold."

'Hello?...Tes, hello Dr. Stein... mm hmm...I see...how contagious?'

"I don't shake hands during flu season. Just scan my QR code."

Isn't it nice to exchange some good old-fashioned germs again?

'Boss, we've got a quality problem. I know that because I just shook hands with some of our customers...'

"Oh, I understand. Why go through all the hassles of a vaccine, when you can just..."

Man sees sign: 'Remember: Catch it, bin it, kill it, die.'

"Good Lord, it wasn't a dream after all! I did shake hands with Rudy Giuliani!!"