Geriatric Guardian Pillows

"He likes it."

"She fell down stairs again, so this is her third hip."

"Whoa. Someone needs their diaper changed."

"Careful. That house has a taser."

"It appears that you'll definitely outlive your usefulness."

"My service animal for Alzheimer's, sonny!"

"Careful."

'You must be Jimmy's father . . .'

"At a certain point, I bring them back."

"Why do small children ask so many questions?" "Why not? We need to learn, don’t we? Anyway it’s no big deal is it? Isn’t that what parents are for? You were probably the same, weren’t you? So why complain?"

"Beware of God"

"Boy, the kids are growing up so fast!"

'Eddy! Can you check that recall list on the toy website again to see if this swing is included?'

"Someone to see you!"

"We like to think he's experimenting with color and form, but his art therapist suggested we're not giving him enough candy."

Things you forgot to tell me about getting older: "You're going to need bigger tooth floss."

"We're trying to give geriatrics a sexier image..."

"We've given it a great deal of thought and we decided we're going to give in to everything you want at all times."

"Don't let old age get you down. It's too difficult to get up again."

"Television repairs....Don't you want to see my identity?"

caring for the elderly in Cuba

"If the stock market goes to infinity, would we be able to pay off the national debt?"

"And this is where he'll be during the day - we call it The Men's Downhill."

"He's allergic to peanuts, sensitive to wheat, lactose-intolerant, and just plain weirded out by fruit."

"I'm afraid he's got Jungsheimer's!"

'Isn't it great Darling: The kids are now old enough to have dinner ready when we get home...'

"Are you sure this is in your job description?"

'What do you mean give the boy a house key? He'll lose it, learn how to break in despite our sophisticated security system and be on his way to a life of crime.'

'Your breathing test results would be normal ... if you were 3'8' and 150 years old.'

'Sorry, my dog says no landlords allowed!'

'You couldn't just lock him up somewhere, could you?'