Family Guardian Pillows

'Eddy! Can you check that recall list on the toy website again to see if this swing is included?'

Safety is about FAMILY!...

Tia Carmen's Bucket List: Gather all her nieces to tell them all at once that they're too good for the rotten scoundrels they married.

"There was no other choice, Mom. It was a double dog dare."

"Force quit! Force quit! Force quit!!"

'I can't control my anger when people get too close to my kids...'

Cats on Board.

"Careful. That house has a taser."

Handle With Care

"Ok, so you beat me at scrabble!"

"Let me put on my 'working' head."

"Beware of God"

'This home based business is easy to set up. Everyone knows that women are better at multitasking.'

"How else will I know when I'm clean as a hound's tooth?"

Thanksgiving Family Get-Togethers

"You got custody of us, mommy, because you're the very best attorney picker."

"We can't wake her, she's sleepwalking."

"I don’t see how confirming who I like best will help this situation."

Overprotective Father

'I feel much safer living in a gated community.'

'Aunt Joan and Uncle Wally took Luci to the emergency room.'

"Thanks for the painkiller mum, but how does it know which leg to go down?"

Shepherd watching sheep on closed circuit TV

caring for the elderly in Cuba

"Being a mum is a full-time job."

"I managed a house with four kids, three dogs, and twelve plants. How's that for management experience?"

If you go out in the woods today, you're sure of a big surprise.

Every time an invading army tries to kill me, I wonder if I should have finished art school instead of going to the family business.

"He calls it an 'accident' but you and I both know that was no accident."

"Okay, everyone...time to clean up the house. Gracie, what job do you want?"

Smiling at people who make stupid noises, wearing diapers, crying at least 8 times a night, getting cuddled by wrinkled grandparents... Man, being a baby is the World's hardest job!

"Here's your support, Dad, and here's mine."

'Sorry, my dog says no landlords allowed!'

"These family dinners have become a lot friendlier since we started wearing nametags."

'Unfortunately, Rex didn't realize he was about to pee on an electric fence...'