Parental Guardian Pillows

"How else will I know when I'm clean as a hound's tooth?"

'Never mind about buying that trampoline. I love your new bed!'

"...and I, Pastor Smith...preaching to you now from this pulpit, speak to you from experience about the 'strong-willed' child...BELIEVE me!"

'Best watchdog I ever had!'

Woman as a beacon and guide of the family

"Be afraid to try new things!"

'Eddy! Can you check that recall list on the toy website again to see if this swing is included?'

A day in the life of a dog.

'Have you been giving them too many tweets again?'

'Not only is he cute and smart but he's had all his shots too.'

Take You Home

'I feel much safer living in a gated community.'

caring for the elderly in Cuba

"I don't want you swimming in the ocean -- it's a toilet that hasn't been flushed in 4 billion years."

Soccer Moms

'My grandson has been walking from an early age. . . Oh yes, in fact, by the time he was two he'd been walking three years.'

"My father would never let me marry a boy with a combover."

'My mother made me apply.'

"The best way, son, is to bury your bones in airtight containers: it will keep them clean and fresh..."

'Please turn it down - Daddy's trying to do your homework.'

"I heard raising your grandkids can help keep you young. Please tell me there's an easier way."

Before birds and bees,

"Not so fast. I want to be called 'Nana'."

"Give her a little time, Kids. Helen has to get used to now being a grandmother."

Safety is about FAMILY!...

'This wouldn't have happened if you'd saved to send me to a private school.'

"Ten more minutes of media manipulation, then it's off to bed."

'So much talent in the world, and not nearly enough roles for grandmas.'

"Please make it snow tonight. Karen Garvin wants me to be her valentine."

Wayside Elementary School - Now Available: Curbside Pickup!

'This whole 'grandparent' thing -- it's our parents and children conspiring against us!'

'Why can't you try to be more like me?'

"My Dad helped with my homework so don't blame me."

'No problem!'

"Ok, so maybe cross-dressing camp wasn’t such a great idea after all."