Gentrification Analyst Gifts

"I've got something in what used to be a decrepit, run-down, unfashionable area."

"The Net National Product rose slightly last month."

'Great news, Dear! I've been traded to a think tank in California for a PhD Specializing in the Baltics!'

The Thought Process.

"You called me, boss?" "Yes, I overheard you talking to patrons about all the new planets we’ve found." "I want you to stop doing that." "At least until I’m done buying up as much of that real estate as I can. I don’t need any competitors driving up the prices." "Very bad man." "When the hipsters run out of cities to gentrify here, my properties on Gliese 581c are going to make a killing."

"Yuppies! There goes the hood!"

"So what makes you think you're the man for the job?"

"I can hear Brooklyn becoming played out."

For sale

"Welcome to Randolph, Vermont. Don't even think of relocating here!"

Made in China.

"We wanted to replicate their natural habitat, so we built a housing estate."

"If the nanny state wants us to solve the housing crisis they need to get out of the way and let us learn from the leaders in the field..."

'Stock Market re-entry now safe. . . City analysts say.'

'Think OUTSIDE the box, not ABOUT the box.'

'Wow, the support for legalizing marijuana is really picking up!'

Plane Migration.

Great Urban Sprawl

Microsoft Merger

The Joads of Silicon Valley in Kiwis of Wrath

Gobbledygookologist

'Yes...our chief analyst is recommending further investments in the new year.'

'It's called lateral thinking.'

"The area has recently moved from being a dump to being an expensive dump."

"Sometimes I just don't know where I end and the invisible fence begins."

"There exists within each of us the infinite potential to become the neighbor from hell."

'I intend to burn the midnight oil finding ways to cut back on our carbon footprint, Simpkins...'

"It was an artist's loft. Now it's a lawyers loft."

Made in China

'I know you're doing an important job at the think tank but please stop working at home!'

"Yes, Frank's a slob, Mary...but I doubt that's why aliens haven't used your landing pad!"

"Hear this. The new 'in' place is the Bronx."

Midtown Meta-Moment