Gentrification Analyst Gifts

"I've got something in what used to be a decrepit, run-down, unfashionable area."

"The Net National Product rose slightly last month."

So which rung are you on my corporate ladder?

'Great news, Dear! I've been traded to a think tank in California for a PhD Specializing in the Baltics!'

The Thought Process.

"Yuppies! There goes the hood!"

"You called me, boss?" "Yes, I overheard you talking to patrons about all the new planets we’ve found." "I want you to stop doing that." "At least until I’m done buying up as much of that real estate as I can. I don’t need any competitors driving up the prices." "Very bad man." "When the hipsters run out of cities to gentrify here, my properties on Gliese 581c are going to make a killing."

"I can hear Brooklyn becoming played out."

"So what makes you think you're the man for the job?"

"Welcome to Randolph, Vermont. Don't even think of relocating here!"

For sale

Made in China.

'Stock Market re-entry now safe. . . City analysts say.'

"If the nanny state wants us to solve the housing crisis they need to get out of the way and let us learn from the leaders in the field..."

"We wanted to replicate their natural habitat, so we built a housing estate."

'Think OUTSIDE the box, not ABOUT the box.'

Not So Into This One

'Wow, the support for legalizing marijuana is really picking up!'

Microsoft Merger

Great Urban Sprawl

Plane Migration.

The Joads of Silicon Valley in Kiwis of Wrath

Gobbledygookologist

'Yes...our chief analyst is recommending further investments in the new year.'

'It's called lateral thinking.'

"There exists within each of us the infinite potential to become the neighbor from hell."

"Sometimes I just don't know where I end and the invisible fence begins."

"The area has recently moved from being a dump to being an expensive dump."

You called me, boss? Yes. I overheard you talking to patrons about all the new planets we've found. I want you to stop doing that. At least until I'm done buying up as much of that real estate as I can. I don't need any competitors driving up the prices. Very bad man. When the hipsters run out of cities to gentrify here, my properties on Gliese 581c are going to make a killing.

"It was an artist's loft. Now it's a lawyers loft."

'I intend to burn the midnight oil finding ways to cut back on our carbon footprint, Simpkins...'

Made in China

'I know you're doing an important job at the think tank but please stop working at home!'

"Yes, Frank's a slob, Mary...but I doubt that's why aliens haven't used your landing pad!"

"Hear this. The new 'in' place is the Bronx."