Gentrification Guru Gifts

"It was an artist's loft. Now it's a lawyers loft."

"I can hear Brooklyn becoming played out."

"You called me, boss?" "Yes, I overheard you talking to patrons about all the new planets we’ve found." "I want you to stop doing that." "At least until I’m done buying up as much of that real estate as I can. I don’t need any competitors driving up the prices." "Very bad man." "When the hipsters run out of cities to gentrify here, my properties on Gliese 581c are going to make a killing."

"The area has recently moved from being a dump to being an expensive dump."

"Well, there goes the neighborhood."

"Tariffs love me...tariffs love me not..."

'You could be a constant inspiration for us to come up with a plan to get a leg up on our competition...you're hired!'

Large Dollar Sign Office Block

"So, we look to the fourth quarter as a time of healing."

The MBA Draft

"Great! We're still going up! Chop a hole in the ceiling!"

'We're here to carbon date your company's carbon footprint.'

Computer Science Class 10101010101.

'I'm sorry but I'm afraid the corporation is going in a different direction.'

"#Win!"

How can he sleep so comfortably knowing that pillow will someday be clogging a land fill...

'Believe me, I know transformation isn't easy. I pulled a muscle once.'

'The good news is, we did as well as expected last quarter. The bad news is, we didn't expect to do too well.'

'You'll be happy to see that I've finally managed to turn things around.'

Career opportunities

"Uh-Oh..."

'Well, kids, it all started with a massive Federal program to combat global warming....'

'It finally took me thirty years, but I finally have one of every 3-D comic book ever made'

Geek fairies

"Yuppies! There goes the hood!"

The bad news is our boxer shorts are still bursting into flames. The good news is our brand recognition is through the roof

"Now I'll demonstrate how, with a minimum of capital investment, you can make a mountain out of a molehill!"

"Young man, go to your room and stay there until your cerebral cortex matures."

Manufacturing will take place in China...So what role does Europe have?...you borrow money to be the customer

Early Business Planning

"If I seem excited, Mr. Bolling, it's only because I know that I can make you a very rich man."

"I think globally, but I tend to pollute locally."

'Mom's baking finally allowed us to diversify and greatly increase our neighborhood market share.'

"I think you might need to start again."

"It's ideal for the man who works close to home."