Genetic Pioneer Gifts

'It's better than we expected. Now the sheep produce wool in the winter and cotton in the summer.'

'And that's how we discovered curly genes, or, as Dr. Crick insists on calling them, 'DNA'.'

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

'I've decided to centralize my operations. Everything will be in my ipad.'

'Upon entering the rain forest...' 'Thousands of unknown species, and we can fool around with the genes of every one of them.'

Queen of Quinoa

Little Doctor meets Little Geneticists.

"OK team, we need innovative solutions and we need 'em fast!"

Today, a special retro segment of The Fad Herald. It's the Fad Herald. Off the hook! Hey jive turkeys, here's what's not cool: Fossil fuels, dependence on Mideast oil, long gas lines. Here's what's groovy: Solar power, alternative fuels, energy independence. Can you dig? The world is changing, baby! Instead of solar panels, I'm buying a sweet 8-track player. Next week, a look ahead to 2040. What's out: Waiting in long lines to fill up the spacecraft with gas.

"You know if we market it right, this thing could spread like the wheel."

'Of course he reminds you of yourself at his age -- he's your clone.'

Some genetically engineered pig

'He's making tremendous progress. last week he had three tails.'

'Wheel.'

'Vegetable proteins sure have caught on. I have to go over to Canyon Gulch and round up a herd of soybeans.'

"Fortunately I hold the patent for the gene that's causing the ringing in your ears, and I can refer you to the doctor who holds the patent for the gene that's causing the pain in your ears."

Pig heart donation saves human life

"Frankly I'm a bit confused. According to the genetic printout this gentleman is, in fact, a goat

"Yes, I believe I was one of the first dentists to use computers!"

Chasing the one big idea

Steve Jobs

'I don't know what it is. It showed up right after I invented agriculture.'

'Never mind insecticides - now they think of us as protein.'

"Watch for innovation."

Chelsea flower show sewage

For centuries we have stared down at them in awe, but with this new invention, we will finally be able to harness the awesome power of walking.

"Thanks to our wonderful research team we can now offer you gender choice at birth and puberty."

Armstrong? Why did UPS just deliver a microscope, a robotic arm, a huge incubator, a nucleus extractor and a dozen lab rats? Well it's certainly not so I can replace you with an army of clones programmed to work for free. Well

'Stocks rose on the news that 'down' is a state of mind that can be treated with pharmaceuticals.'

"I take a probiotic. Ed swears by beer and peanuts."

Journey to the center of Jules Microbiome

Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall

"Ooh, Dave. Your DNA results have come back! According to this, you're 10% German, 15% Irish, and 75% layabout."

"What do you get if you insert human DNA into a goat?"

Virtual Money?