Genetic Inheritance Geek Gifts

"You inherited an extra toe from your father and didn't pay the inheritance tax on it."

Gifts for a cloned baby!

"Something's wrong with the broccoli. Please take it back to the kitchen and have it genetically modified."

Cat and dog at a will reading.

A day at the transgenic races

'Oh dear. He's got my eyes.'

"My problem is a recessive gene for honesty and a dominant gene for robbery."

DNA Analysis.

Gene Therapy

'Friends, lab rats, country mice, lend me your ears...'

'I would love to be more energetic, but there is nothing I can do: It's a genetic condition...'

"And what qualifications do you bring to the table beyond being first in line?"

'Don't worry about making your will, Miss Moneybags leave everything to me. . .'

Genetic Fingerprinting.

'At present, my son and I are extremely interested in genetics and heredity.'

'I know it's hard to believe. But biological speaking, they're our closest relatives.'

"There's no need for your kitty to be envious. After state and federal taxes and legal administrative fees, Chessy's share of Aunt Martha's estate came to hardly anything."

Alfred Marquez, Probate Attorney - Heir club for men.

'A geneticist laid bare my genetic blueprint, and I feel violated.'

'Your uncle donated his brain to Harvard and, unfortunately, they used it to figure out a way to get the rest of his money.'

'DNA...nature's bar code.'

'Eureka! I found the gene that causes people to sell low and buy high!'

Ideas that failed: Goliath Goats.

'ADN'

'Someday, Son, all this will be your ex-wife's.'

'I find it harder and harder to get any work done with all the ethicists hanging around.'

'Darling, we were made for each other.'

'If it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, looks like a duck, it' actually a gene-modified flounder.'

DNA Xmas.

'I might even change my views on genetics research if scientists could genetically engineer supreme court appointees!'

"Fortunately I hold the patent for the gene that's causing the ringing in your ears, and I can refer you to the doctor who holds the patent for the gene that's causing the pain in your ears."