Genes Geek Gifts

Tonight's Debate. Nature versus Nurture. You believe in heredity over environment? Yep --- I was just born that way. (Published originally on October 27, 2007.)

"I said the males were 'evolving' – I didn't say they were 'maturing.'"

'Well, there's something you don't see every day'

'..and we thank thee for these bio-engineered vegetables..'

Another long day down at the Bureau of Earthquake Prediction.

"Finches, don't look now, but there's a creepy guy staring at our beaks."

Gifts for a cloned baby!

Molecules You Ought to be Aware of.

"I know. Let's wait here until we evolve to an upright position. Then we could reach it."

'It's really more of a family forest than a family tree.'

'BANG' and a cosmology institute appears.

On a hot day in 1941, scientists uncovered the only known remains of the elusive nerdosaurus rex,

"Quick! Act like we just developed a drug that they can sell for seven thousand dollars a pill."

'Poor Kleinzweck -- his working hypothesis got laid off.'

"Walk, hell- I gotta dance."

"We're at the top of the food chain and rulers of all we survey. What could possibly go wrong?"

Disease Management

Young Dr. Dolittle.

"Something's wrong with the broccoli. Please take it back to the kitchen and have it genetically modified."

'Oh, so now the ocean isn't GOOD enough for you?'

"Oh boy! Mom made microchip cookies!"

Archimedes helps Sisyphus

"About how if the dark ages never happened we'd be so much more technologically advanced by now."

A day at the transgenic races

Armstrong? Why did UPS just deliver a microscope, a robotic arm, a huge incubator, a nucleus extractor and a dozen lab rats? Well, it's certainly not so I can replace you with an army of clones programmed to work for free. Well

Genetic modification creating plastic from plant cellulose.

Best before 65 million BC.

Jurassic Pork

"Well, Comstock, still regret putting our profits back into research?"

Fluffy explains her string theory.

At the primate speech center, Mokobo tries some stand-up comedy...

Newton forgets gravity, discovers delicious apple

"'A body at rest'? -- Are you writing murder mysteries now, Isaac?"

"Where do you think we are in the food chain right now?"

"Trying to impress us on your first day is understandable, but the moon has already been discovered."