Genetics Geeks Gifts

"Cloning is all very well in theory, but do you have any proof it can actually work?"

God at the Job Centre - "...and then they perfected stem cell embryos."

The Selfish Gene

'They found your gene for anti-social behavior, but they're still looking for the one for robbing liquor stores.'

"Why clone sheep! They ought to clone more doctors!"

'I see they've discovered a gene for celibacy.'

'They're jeans for people with the wrong type of genes.'

"I'm sure my parents will love you, but for the time being, let's not mention that you're genetically modified."

Gifts for a cloned baby!

"Something's wrong with the broccoli. Please take it back to the kitchen and have it genetically modified."

A day at the transgenic races

'Oh dear. He's got my eyes.'

"I've had it with the helmet mandates."

"My problem is a recessive gene for honesty and a dominant gene for robbery."

"Why do leaves change color?"

Gene Therapy

'Friends, lab rats, country mice, lend me your ears...'

"And what qualifications do you bring to the table beyond being first in line?"

Genetic Fingerprinting.

Protoplasm

'Master Pavlov is a bit strange these days: For some reason, he rings a bell before serving us dinner...'

'A geneticist laid bare my genetic blueprint, and I feel violated.'

'Eureka! I found the gene that causes people to sell low and buy high!'

Ideas that failed: Goliath Goats.

Preparing for Casual Friday at the Genome Lab

'Darling, we were made for each other.'

'The Algenist meets the Alchemist.'

DNA Xmas.

'Ahhh . . . he's got your original nose.'

'You may share 85% of your genetic material with him, but I share 5% tops.'

Genetic Manipulation

Single-cellphones...

"Fortunately I hold the patent for the gene that's causing the ringing in your ears, and I can refer you to the doctor who holds the patent for the gene that's causing the pain in your ears."

An inbred poodle.