Generation Z Satirist Pillows

Whatever stamps

'I got 100 in school today. 50 in history and 50 in maths.'

A boy is sat at a desk, with five plaques implying different qualifications he has earned from using social media.

What do MD and PHD mean? It means the doctor owes a lot of money in student loans.

'The reason the core curriculum seems so ambiguous is that we dot really have a core curriculum.'

'I have answers to the kind of questions no one likes to ask.'

"Excuse me, Doc, my attention wandered. What type of deficit disorder did you say I had?"

"... And don't come back until you're ready to get funny."

"Guess what. School is presented without commercial interruption."

Snowman Driver

"Wanna play 'Waitin’ on the Cable Guy'?"

"'Burned out,' Parker?- I wasn't aware you ever even 'caught fire.'"

"Are you one of these youngsters who has a very short attention span?"

"When I said my teacher had no class I meant class was canceled."

"Every sixth grade substitute is offered an optional cyanide pill."

'Celeb Foods: Damien Hurst's voles in brine.'

When it comes to texting, she's all thumbs.'

'No Mis Evans. You know only substitute teachers are allowed to carry taser guns!'

"I don't care if it does have wifi. . . it's a vegetable peeler!"

"In my day I played a pretty mean cowbell."

"I don't know about you, but I don't like being a high school guidance counselor."

"If I hear the word ‘mindfulness’ one more time, I swear I’m gonna lose it."

"Maybe school's a good thing... I mean...where else do hundreds of people with similar backgrounds come together under one roof...all following a daily routine...with guidance and supervision to better themselves and society? Ya know...besides prison?"

Breakfast at Universities

'Can I go home now, before I get overeducated?'

"O.K., but let's say you have up to six hundred intruders per minute."

'Teacher says I don't pay attention, I have no retention but I'm great at detention.'

"Jeremy sits in his hi-tech car all day and telecommutes from our driveway."

"It's actually an ink stain but my wife has grown quite fond of it."

'What's the antidote for espresso?'

"In the future, everyone will be famous for fifteen episodes."

'It's the new guidance counselor. He's lost.'

"We will now observe a moment of silently checking our BlackBerrys."