Generation Gap Humorist Pillows

"So, how long have you been old?"

"Are you one of these youngsters who has a very short attention span?"

"They should outlaw anyone under 50."

"It's a key to the city, it's not supposed to be bling, 'Kanye!'"

"You think you're so cool with your stretched ears, but I can see through you."

"Where's ya manners, lady!? Never attempt conversation with someone who's mindlessly staring at their phone!"

"In my day I played a pretty mean cowbell."

"Sorry, grandpa, but wiggling the antenna won't restore your cable and Internet."

"Jonathan, leave granddad alone. He's not feeling interactive."

'I've been called some mean things as a baby boomer, but 'Pig in the Python' really hurts.'

'Yep,that's it Mr.White. And NOW go, Control-Alt-Delete, then re-enter.'

'We'll never understand these kids. It's the old evolution gap.'

"We're neither software nor hardware. We're your parents."

"My grandson said I was "woke" but I'm 90% certain I didn't even nod off"

"Hey! I was trained in 1948 and was good enough for then, so it's good enough for now....whipper-snapper!"

"I got a chocolate bar and gum!" "What the #!@* is 'CBD oil'?!"

"It came... it grew... it made Nana say bad words... 'Ow! You rotten #@!!×!' The invasion of the thistle"

"Who knew a lifeless box could spread such fear? It came from the mailbox."

'I suppose you think you're better than your parents, mister I-Can-Walk-Upright?!'

Annuals, Perennials, Centennials, Millennials

'All you do is stare at the TV. When I was a kid we have to be content with staring at the radio.'

"Greatest Band?"

"Relax kid, you're going to be for awhile."

"Without a doubt... the first sixty!"

"Mom, does granddad want me to run away? He's playing that Disco music again!"

High pants/Low pants.

"Things were really different when I was growing up. Childhoods today are much longer."

"I'm Generation Z. Nice to meet you."

"This is my mom's phone. Instead of a hashtag, it has a pound sign."

"Ha! This younger is so absorbed in social media that he cannot appreciate his youth, unlike I, aging millennial, who cannot appreciate his thirties."

Baby boomers anthem.

'Congratulations! He hasn't got MRSA.'

'If it weren't for diapers, I'd have nothing in common with him.'

"Look, I'm really having trouble with my computer. I need it to work and I need it now...and your fancy schmancy jargon isn't helping much."

"My dad says at some point in your life, fashion isn't important anymore. You basically wear nylon slacks and guayaberas every day."