Gender Humor Fans Pillows

"Ever since I changed Siri to a male he's been forgetting birthdays and anniversaries."

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

Life is for the birds.

'Alas, poor Yorick, I knew you well. But dude, you're creeping me out, so I gotta un-friend you!'

Hello. I'm Ferdinand. I'll be monitoring the levels of bull at your table this evening. Menu. Menu.

"First date hairball... awkward."

'Stop complaining woman, you wanted a boating holiday!'

"I can never remember - do these go in garbage or compost?"

"Consider yourself lucky that you only got a little shaken up in that dryer--socks get lost in that thing and aren't ever seen again.'

'I really wish you guys would knock that off.'

'We found you in a cabbage!'

In utero...boy, THOSE were the days!

"He should be up and complaining in no time."

Tequila Mockingbird

"Maybe I'm aiming too high...maybe 'saving for a cool car' is too hard."

'NO, it DOESN'T come on DISC!'

"Pumpkin spice has been very good to me."

"Open a wine that will make me want to watch the shows you want to watch."

"It's Doris Kearns Goodwin. Is there anything we'd like to know about the Presidency?"

"You don't sniff my butt anymore."

"And make sure you get my daughter home before sunrise..!"

"We were having a great conversation and then someone clapped."

'Guess who's teething?'

"This merger is not producing the expected synergies."

'I knew you would come crawling back.'

"Well that's the last of our offspring gone - let battle commence."

"Honey, our pop-up blocker stopped working again."

'You've made a breakthrough in FINANCIAL research?', 'Yep! - I split the ATM!'

'Roger, you're just a Rooster and I'm just a Hen. Is all of this necessary?'

'Looks like the Wentworths are still on the outs.'

'Henry, cut that out.'

One cheese omelette, and I've never cheated on my husband. Um, okay. Anything else? A side of hash browns for this one-man woman! And a chocolate as hot and sweet as my intensely singular love for this phenomenal guy. Chuck? Yes dear? I've been having an affair for the last six months. Oh don't act surprised. One scone, and what the @#$% just happened? The denial and snacks before the storm.

"Sorry, coffee is delivered by a union shop and you banned all things union."

'If you really loved me, you'd stay downwind.'

"Relax, he could just be looking for fun."