Gender Satire Enthusiast Pillows

'I suggest we make it a man's magazine...with lots of material that women would like to read.' 'No - let's make it a woman's magazine...with lots of material for me to read.'

"It's a factory recall of some kind. All men born on my birth date are asked to return to Mars for unspecified warranty repairs!"

Enhanced Pedophilia Interrogation Techniques

Sen. Krupt. I don't tell constituents that we're fueling inflation. I say we're protecting consumers and thanks to us they won't have to worry about buying any cheap stuff.

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

"And when the canyon fills up, that's it; herd immunity."

Support the Ex-Troops

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

Torturing the English Language

Pretty Flowers

Come in, minion. What's up, boss? I'm writing a novel. It's a thriller about an intrepid caf

'I've decided to step down as your CEO in order to spend more time in jail...'

The height of fashion in 1796

reincarnated worm...

"If we only used bigger clubs we would defeat our enemies every time, and we would dominate them forever!"

"We're looking for that perfect blend of vision, ambition and ethical ambiguity."

Needed Inventions: An Airbag To Protect The Viewer Against A Really Lousy Program.

"We don't care about his nose. We won't let him play because he's not vaccinated and won't wear a mask!"

"Really? They're now giving out non-participation trophies?"

"I don't like the looks of that!"

"Let's say you've always wanted to make someone a mixtape to show them how much you care about them. What's the best order? Do you start with songs about how rich you are before moving on to the songs about love? Or vice versa?. . .What order would best simulate sincerity?"

"We're suing you under equal opportunities legislation for failure to represent our rights"

'The world already ended, but the government hushed it up.'

'Negotiations have reached an impasse, legal recommends we resort to violence.'

"The document states that you've been left your mother's jowls and upper arm flab."

Turkish Democracy

Meat Grinder

The americanisation of vulture.

I've Always Wanted to Be Oppressed By Someone Who Looks Like Me

'-and you're living proof that ALL men are not born equal, runt!'

Critisize your weight.

Introducing... The Everything Else Morning-After Pill!

This condition could be hereditary - does stupidity run in your family?

"I thought there would be bacon here."