Gender Detective Gifts

'Danae says her room is now a think tank for B.O.S.S. . . .a lobby bent on ridding the world of boys.'

'Men are from one branch of Starbucks, women from another.'

Men. Just what is it that they're really thinking?

Wildlife

"You say it all the time, so I climbed every tree to prove it. You were right, money doesn't grow on trees."

"And, when the DNA test results arrived, the woman realized her so-called 'little terrier mix' had been part German shepherd all along."

"I met him on an online dating site. He was on their 'return' section."

'I know he doesn't like this house, but he'll just have to get used to it.'

Ladies of the Creation! - No. VIII - Mary protecting the weaker sex

"I'm not growling, it's my stomach rumbling!"

"Is this Randy the Love Doctor?"

'So who needs sonar?!'

When did you first feel like a male trapped in a female body? When I was a foetus.

"Hello? Is that the canine help line?...."

"I may be obsessive and I may be compulsive, but no way am I obsessive compulsive."

Sergeant Jones gave the assurance that they had an 'assortment' of leads back at the station. . .

Unbeknownst to most, dogs are actually greedy bastards searching for gold,

'I was attracted to you but your online photo, but now that I've seen you in High-Def...'

"I'm not against going to couples therapy, but it feels weird to do it on a first date."

"What's all this?"

'I need someone who is willing to make a commitment not someone who's just interested in ruffling my feathers.'

"You're not a police dog, and that's not a crime scene."

Victoria's secret lovers: Barry, Al, Percy.

"If you could live your life all over again, what dead animals would you roll in?"

"Aw, Dad! I don't wanna move. I just made friends with a fossil!"

Boys Cooking

"That's why I don't use those dog carriers."

Fat Kid 28- Discovers his feminine side

'It's hard finding a caring,sensitive and good looking man. Most of them already have boyfriends.'

"I wish you'd get more in touch with your masculine side, Robert"

'Roger, I think we need to talk about your trouble with intimacy.'

"Mort, I'm writing a case study about two diametrically opposed archetypes of your generation. Archetype number one: a bold, debonaire male... The type that suffered no fools, lived life to the fullest, and pursued romance with tough, smart 'dames' who kept him on his toes. And then there's archetype number two: weak, insecure, afraid of life, and dominated by overbearing romantic partners who brought him to his knees. Ok. I'll participate. Who'd you find for archetype #2? You might want to

Hipster Police Department

Burlyesque

"You're not at all like your answering machine."