Gastronomic Gladiator Gifts

'So, not your favourite restuarant anymore...'

Bad for you but to die for

"Good news...I found a doctor who says you can still play!"

"Everything's gone up."

"Impressive, yes, but what exactly is a black belt in cookery?"

"I know I should have gotten a cart, but I can't give up now."

American Football.

'I've decided to skip my senior year and go directly into an endless cycle of unrealistic expectations and failure.'

"Bye now... it's always nice to see you and little Tommy!"

Football.

Punishment for the kicker.

'We're going to look pretty stupid if it's not a Michelin star.'

'He intentionally entangles his face mask in my hand!'

'Quit whining, Sid, and walk it off! I'm not falling for that pulled muscle thing again!'

A boxing match between Apple Brown Betty and Apple Pan Dowdy

A football player accidentally kicks off the head of another football player.

'Get out there, Holmes, and pile on!'

"Well, dad. . . when I was a kid I got in trouble for trampling on the lawn or for beating up others. . . today, I get a lot of money for it!"

The Thurston State Hornets make their entry onto the field.

"All right, we straighten this out immediately! René threw the bouillabaisse at Jacques, no? The Jam-bon en croûte was thrown by Jacques at René, correct? The truite en gelée and the fraises des bois were thrown by François at Henri, and Henri threw the mousse au chocolat at François, and . . ."

"It was a horrible workplace accident - he tripped and fell into the company rumor mill. Poor devil never knew what hit him!"

'LOOK RENOLDSON, i've had JUST about enough of your moaning and groaning! IF you can't stand the heat, GET out of the oven!' / A chef scolding his apprentice inside an oven.

"Something with enough depth to taste like success to me and shame to him."

Football Blockers.

"She can be outspoken."

Wal Max - Complaints Department

It's payback time at the sadistic dentist's office.

Women in grocery store contemplates high and low calories.

"Good news, you are virus free and should be able to resume hitting each other in the heads as hard as possible this fall."

"My husband can carry up to fifty times his body weight: he's great to go shopping with..."

'No exceptions, Caldwell! If you want to make this team, you've got to make it past my mother-in-law!'

Power Point Hell

Ballerina Vs. Martial Artist