Culinary Gladiator Gifts

A boxing match between Apple Brown Betty and Apple Pan Dowdy

Boy defends his last fry.

"When it comes to medical malpractice, most lawyers only go for the money... ...I go for the doctor's head."

"Everything's gone up."

"Impressive, yes, but what exactly is a black belt in cookery?"

"I know I should have gotten a cart, but I can't give up now."

Ethnic food springing out of a menu.

'Are you the guy who put gluten in the bread?'

"Bye now... it's always nice to see you and little Tommy!"

The Good Feud Guide - 'Delia Smith does a nice roasted Worrall-Thompson.'

'We're going to look pretty stupid if it's not a Michelin star.'

'No, go ahead and critique my mss. I'm always ok ... after the initial reaction.'

Onion Guillotine

"They're going to print a retraction - your desserts are not inconsistent."

"All right, we straighten this out immediately! René threw the bouillabaisse at Jacques, no? The Jam-bon en croûte was thrown by Jacques at René, correct? The truite en gelée and the fraises des bois were thrown by François at Henri, and Henri threw the mousse au chocolat at François, and . . ."

'LOOK RENOLDSON, i've had JUST about enough of your moaning and groaning! IF you can't stand the heat, GET out of the oven!' / A chef scolding his apprentice inside an oven.

'This always seems to happen on your night to cook.'

'So, not your favourite restuarant anymore...'

Cooking Contest. I hear you can make tempura out of anything. Yep -- Anything you can do, I can do battered!

"Something with enough depth to taste like success to me and shame to him."

'There's a pork roast in the oven and a casserole in the microwave....two minutes on high.'

'This week, the secret ingredient on Iron chef is . . . Iron. Good luck, suckas.'

"It's the Garden Street book club. They wanna rumble!"

Pizza Fencing

It's payback time at the sadistic dentist's office.

"I will avenge the underdone fish that ruined my dinner if it's the last thing I ever do."

"If he'd done that to me, I'd have got up and given him a good thump!"

"My husband can carry up to fifty times his body weight: he's great to go shopping with..."

"Hang in there. If you win this bout, you get to fight his mother."

'Well, I'm sorry. But your mother criticized my chicken casserole one too many times.'

'As many items as I want or no customer!'

"Who's going to carve?"

HEAD CHEF - A chef collects the heads of the chefs that rank below him.

Survival of the Foodiest

'How many potatoes to make a bottle of vodka?.'