Gastronomic Genius Gifts

Nyargh! - 'I swear I will never eat fibre again...' - 'I christen thee 'Titan'.'

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

Counting ribs

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

"Will you have a Sphinx?"

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

'Of course you're very dear to me - that meal just cost a fortune.'

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

"Compliments to the chef! Pass it on."

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

"Can you romance me after my tiramisu?"

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

"Yes, we have blue cheese. Do you want it in electric, sky or navy blue?"

French wine

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

"I come here for the pepper."

'You realize we're only having three people over...'

"Pizza sounds wonderful. Italian, Greek or Hipster?"

"Is the asparagus farm-raised or wild-caught?"

"I'll have the barbecued half-pounder, with all the ramifications."

"Deep-dish pizza calls for deep-glass beer."

'It's the essence of springtime. You're really enjoying it.'

Gramma's Tators & Gravy...All You Can Eat!

"It was wonderful, Henri. Arnold had died and gone to heaven."

Cheese

"Spoiler alert! If you read the specials, you'll find out the Chef's Surprise!"

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