Culinary Genius Gifts

"You know, Mark, your tabouli salad makes us look bad."

'When does the fridge go on a diet?'

"She may be useless in the bedroom but she claims to be a wow in the kitchen!"

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

'He's trying to put some magic into my recipes.'

"Maybe if we added some pumpkin spice?"

The Witches Discover The Wok

"Mom, I'm at work – let me call you back after I finish stocking milk for wealthy vegans who like beet juice in their meat alternatives so they can still get that bloody effect when cooking without guilt."

"They always throw us stale bread, so I've decided to bake my own, fresh break..."

CAUTION: Creative genius at work

"What if Newton came up with a different idea from a fallen apple."

"Did you remove the bay leaf?"

"Nobody truly appreciates the magic that goes into a good omelet."

"That was a great ideaof yours, chester."

Cereal Tasting.

"I bet you can't name one person who makes a better lengua casserole than me!"

"Can you reinvent the classic grilled cheese for me?"

'Needs more kale.'

'Stop him, he's got the receipe.' Duck running away

"Lumpy? Of course it's lumpy! Sweetbread soup is meant to be lumpy."

'Beat 3,000 eggs and add one quart of 10-30W oil? So much for putting my recipes on the computer.'

I Heart Dinosaurs Chef

"Fresh pepper?"

'Of course it's high in protein. Just look at this!'

'I'm saving some for leftovers tomorrow.'

'Propane ran out.'

"And that is how you handle liver!"

Mediterranean Martini

'Oh, sure, it gets the creative juices going, but is it worth the cost?'

"We did it! Barbeque, bacon, cheese and just a twist of kale!"

'Marmaduke, have you been drooling on my cookbooks again?'

"You're right, Pierre, they are licking their plates."

Television company new recruit

'A tiny kitchen, one cook, and great food...I don't know how they do it.'

"It's the Chef Surprise."