Culinary Genius Pillows

"You know, Mark, your tabouli salad makes us look bad."

'When does the fridge go on a diet?'

"She may be useless in the bedroom but she claims to be a wow in the kitchen!"

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

'He's trying to put some magic into my recipes.'

"Maybe if we added some pumpkin spice?"

The Witches Discover The Wok

"Mom, I'm at work – let me call you back after I finish stocking milk for wealthy vegans who like beet juice in their meat alternatives so they can still get that bloody effect when cooking without guilt."

"They always throw us stale bread, so I've decided to bake my own, fresh break..."

CAUTION: Creative genius at work

"What if Newton came up with a different idea from a fallen apple."

"That was a great ideaof yours, chester."

"Nobody truly appreciates the magic that goes into a good omelet."

"Did you remove the bay leaf?"

Cereal Tasting.

"I bet you can't name one person who makes a better lengua casserole than me!"

"Can you reinvent the classic grilled cheese for me?"

'Needs more kale.'

With all that Christmas baking left, that's a bad thing...(egg prices soar).

'Of course it's high in protein. Just look at this!'

'Stop him, he's got the receipe.' Duck running away

"Lumpy? Of course it's lumpy! Sweetbread soup is meant to be lumpy."

'I'm saving some for leftovers tomorrow.'

I Heart Dinosaurs Chef

"Fresh pepper?"

'Beat 3,000 eggs and add one quart of 10-30W oil? So much for putting my recipes on the computer.'

'Propane ran out.'

"And that is how you handle liver!"

Mediterranean Martini

'Oh, sure, it gets the creative juices going, but is it worth the cost?'

'Marmaduke, have you been drooling on my cookbooks again?'

"We did it! Barbeque, bacon, cheese and just a twist of kale!"

"You're right, Pierre, they are licking their plates."

Television company new recruit

"It's the Chef Surprise."