Gastroenterologist Gifts

'Looks like the doctor confirmed my diagnosis. It's not just your bowel. Everything about you is irritable.'

'You don't need a colonoscopy, but I'm sending you for one because, quite frankly, I don't like you.'

'That's the worst case of acid reflux I've ever seen!'

"The colonoscopy isn't your eternal punishment...the prep is."

'Gastroenterology...do I know that?'

'Will the results of this probe be sent to my gastroenterologist?'

'I think it's your colon. I came to that conclusion through the process of elimination.'

'I have the results of your liver scan. You don't have all your ducts in a row.'

'OK, Mr Smith, we're ready for your colonscopy!'

'Sir, the drive-thru colonoscopy center is next door - but good for you for having it done.'

Colonoscopy.

'I have a friend who says his business has never been better. . . but then, he's a gastroenterologist!'

'Your problem is keeping things down. I want you to take this one pill four times a day.'

'You've got irritable bowel.'

Tapeworm: 'ARRGH! RUN for it LENNY! IT'S an ENEMA!!'

"Oh yes, Mr Celiac disease. I'm terrible with faces but I never forget a bowel biopsy."

"Who's the one with irritable bowels?"

Hospital. Patient to stomach specialist: 'What's your gut-feeling, Doctor?'

Amusing patients: Jingle Bells stomach tune

"You must see someone about your problem."

"...we have a heart-lung-kidney-liver-spleen machine."

You Are Here

"Next time you want me to swallow a camera, just wrap it in bacon!"

'Still have gas problems, Mr. Quigley?'

Fart Sample.

'Now that I can afford anything on the menu, I can't digest anything on the menu.'

"Now, this is going to feel like I'm sticking my finger up your a*s."

'I'm afraid that your irritable bowel syndrome has progressed. you now have a furious and vindictive bowel syndrome.'

"First of all, we guarantee it's only from humans."

"They don't look familiar...probably from another fecal transplant."

"Yeah, I see what you mean. If it's been like this for weeks, you definitely have a digestion problem..."

"We've never been closer since our fecal transplants."

'Gastroenterology...do I know that?'

Man enters Gastroenterologist's and has two doors: "Spleen Vent" and "Gut Check"

"Your dung is a bit dry, but otherwise healthy..."