Gas Reserve Guru Gifts

'At a conservative estimate, there's five billion gallons of shale gas under your lower molars.'

'I say we invade and secure all those renewable resources.'

"Yes, also it keeps you fit."

"Ahh...He's got wind"

Dept. Sustainable Energy.

GAS. If you have to ask, you probably can't afford it.

In the future, wars will be fought over water.

"The good news is, the wind turbine is working great, the bad news is, it blew all the solar panels off the roof."

'When I think of all this sunshine going to waste...'

Oil shock.

Bio Fuels.

"In other news, oil and gas prices became irrelevant today when scientists announced that pretty much anything can run on caffeine."

'How many miles to the gallon?'

"Pull over, Rudolph! We'll have to charge the electric sleigh again..."

There's no real oil emergency...

I think I can...

The five inhospitable gas giants

A man with a deflated bicycle stands in line at the tire inflator.

"It's a ransom note from our energy supplier!"

Riding exercise bike supplies power to building.

The log burner is good for the environment, but the chainsaw isn't.

The Hypocrite - So Why Can't Someone Do Something About High Gas Prices?

'No more beans this week, I think, Matilda.'

'So like, what's your monkey man?'

BIO TV

'Environmentalist!'

'It's a hybrid.'

'It's the windfarms - a lesser known effect.'

Energy speculation.

"Go forth and multiply under the constraint of sustainability within Nature's framework? What the heck is THAT supposed to mean?"

Green Coffee

Price of crude oil rockets!

"Okay, so let's say our natural gas reserves last us 800 years. Then what?"

'Ever since we switched from bio-diesel to human beings, the air smells cleaner, the Earth much greener, and the mileage has been unbelievable!'

'I haven't paid four dollars a gallon since I bought that swamp land in Florida.'