Gas Reserve Guru Pillows

'At a conservative estimate, there's five billion gallons of shale gas under your lower molars.'

'I say we invade and secure all those renewable resources.'

"Yes, also it keeps you fit."

"Ahh...He's got wind"

Dept. Sustainable Energy.

In the future, wars will be fought over water.

"The good news is, the wind turbine is working great, the bad news is, it blew all the solar panels off the roof."

'When I think of all this sunshine going to waste...'

Oil shock.

Bio Fuels.

"In other news, oil and gas prices became irrelevant today when scientists announced that pretty much anything can run on caffeine."

'How many miles to the gallon?'

There's no real oil emergency...

I think I can...

"Pull over, Rudolph! We'll have to charge the electric sleigh again..."

The five inhospitable gas giants

'No more beans this week, I think, Matilda.'

A man with a deflated bicycle stands in line at the tire inflator.

"It's a ransom note from our energy supplier!"

The log burner is good for the environment, but the chainsaw isn't.

The Hypocrite - So Why Can't Someone Do Something About High Gas Prices?

BIO TV

'Environmentalist!'

'It's a hybrid.'

'So like, what's your monkey man?'

'It's the windfarms - a lesser known effect.'

"Go forth and multiply under the constraint of sustainability within Nature's framework? What the heck is THAT supposed to mean?"

Energy speculation.

Green Coffee

Price of crude oil rockets!

"Okay, so let's say our natural gas reserves last us 800 years. Then what?"

'Ever since we switched from bio-diesel to human beings, the air smells cleaner, the Earth much greener, and the mileage has been unbelievable!'

"The rumor is he's in the pocket of Big WInd."

Farmer Problems