Gas Guru Gifts

'I've been a flatulence analyst for 15 years. . . I'll quit when it stops being fun. . .'

"Ahh...He's got wind"

Helium Parachute

GAS. If you have to ask, you probably can't afford it.

"Clean your wallet, Sir?"

Doomsday Media Story.

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

Project Length As Measured In Dog Years

'We're here to carbon date your company's carbon footprint.'

How can he sleep so comfortably knowing that pillow will someday be clogging a land fill...

"Fantastic presentation! All of the investors loved it."

'Can we afford you to save us money by repairing the car yourself...?'

'My electric car is giving me static!'

"Would you please step into the garage? Your car and I need to have a word with you."

"Peterson proposes we move out of the mountains."

The dumpster code - find something, leave something.

'Well, kids, it all started with a massive Federal program to combat global warming....'

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

ACME Balloon Company.

It's only firing on 87 cylinders!

Let's Celebrate

"We've done a rigorous examination of your business plan using the latest algorithms to model future profits. . . which way up would you like it?"

Matryoshka/ Russian Gas Cylinders

"Now this chart should clear up any confusion you have with the report."

He then drew a number of smaller pie charts behind the bigger chart. That helped to put it into perspective.

Sales chart plummets into employees head.

"At least we are consistently inconsistent."

"I think globally, but I tend to pollute locally."

'Now this is my kind of green!'

'Now, remember...let me do the talking.'

"It's ideal for the man who works close to home."

Axle greaseMarine greaseElbow grease .

"Thank you, Harris - I get the picture."