Gardening Season Gifts

'These spare Christmas decorations make perfect bird scarers.'

If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? The irises clash with the roses! Peonies?! Here? What was I thinking? No! Not aphids already! Psycho gardening disorder.

Grow damn you!

Leaf blower with 3 notches - Low, medium, and into next doors garden.

'We have praying mantises. They're good for the garden as long as they don't pray for the spinach.'

Getting Rid of the Cure

"It's amazing, Darlin', just how fast the kids grow up!"

'Isn't that cute! They're thanking us.'

"He can't decide which one he likes best. . .His leaf blower, his weed wacker, or his metal detector."

Prize vegetables.

'Couldn't Peter claim Mr. McGregor's garden was an 'attractive nuisance?'

The Busy Gardener

"I built this tree house for my kids. But it's so private, I've decided to use it as my home office."

"I can't believe how great my life is now: We used to live in an apartment, but now, I have my own garden..."

What are you giving Mother Earth this year?

A Good Batch.

"A wet winter, but we're making the best of it."

It's a Whole Field of Paisley!

'Behold. Ed and Jim have finally reached nirvana.'

'If I had known it was going to be such a late Spring, i would have never started my garden seeds, indoors.'

baby sweetcorn...

'..and we thank thee for these bio-engineered vegetables..'

Cocktails on the verandah.

Squirrels Stockpiling Mulling Spices for Winter

"Maybe we should cut back on those lawn catalogues."

'Enjoy your meal! We grow everything ourselves!'

"The kids love it, and it's saved my marriage."

"We're experienced an extraordinary amount of growth this year."

'Harold, when was the last time you cleaned the pool?!'

'Make sure you pretend to water it.'

So Close..

I was holding out okay, until he made it into crumb cake.

"It's kohlrabi, the next hot vegetable."

We need a new eco project. Ok. Let's get locally grown food into the school cafeteria. What's our strategy? We can start with the potatoes. I'll make the poster. We want home fries.

The Environmentalist